my cat keeps shitting everywhere like can yOU NOT
Reasons I grab my boobs
- running upstairs
- running downstairs
- stoked on life
- walking through my house in the dark
do girls really do this?
yes. yes they do.
it’s the best
wow i really got around on the second day of school
i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything
…I don’t even drink alcohol
i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music
i don’t even have her number????????????
a guide on how to make me love you
1. buy me food
2. tell me i’m funny
3. tell me i’m hot
4. it’s okay to lie
5. i’m still hungry
if drake touches my chest, i wouldn’t say anything because i know he’s not touching my boob, he’s reaching out for my heart
I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood
I mean seriously
what do you think we do every month
DAMMIT THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING
AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
I work at target and yesterday, when a customer came up to buy something instead of saying “hi, how are you?” I said “hi, happy birthday”
I almost cried…